Sunday, June 12, 2011
Interesting article
I read this interesting article in today's New York Times. Most of it rang true for me except for his thoughts on "My thoughts and prayers are with you." That did not bother me at all.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Good riddance June 11, 2010 - June 10, 2011
Recently, I was reflecting on the last year and realized how truly awful it has been.
On June 11, 2010, my cousin Cathy lost her brutal 6 month battle with melanoma. Cathy and I were just 2 months apart in age. We did not grow up near each other (she in Chicago and me in NY), but we always had so much fun when together for family events. She left behind a husband, 3 children, 2 parents, 3 siblings, and many other family members. Her death hit me really hard, which coupled with the stress of moving back to the US, made for a really rough few months for me. I am still so MAD and sad that cancer took her so young.
In August, Craig's great aunt Louise passed away. Her death was not quite so difficult to accept since she died about a week short of her 103rd birthday. Both of Craig's grandmother's died before he was born and Louise never had children so she was like the grandmother of the family. She was a really lovely woman who always asked about my parents whenever we saw her, even though she only met them once or twice.
Then, there was January 14,2011... My own cancer diagnosis. March 4, 2011... My bilateral mastectomy. Two days I will never forget.
On May 1, 2011 we lost Craig's "Uncle" George. Technically, he was Craig's first cousin once
removed since George was Craig's Mom's cousin. George and Craig's Mom were both only children. George never married and never had children. We were his only family. He was never in the greatest of health, but his death did come as a shock. He had just turned 73 on April 14.
And to close out this crappy year, my friend Anna was diagnosed with breast cancer in late
May.
Here's to a "new" year filled with more happy events than sad ones!
On June 11, 2010, my cousin Cathy lost her brutal 6 month battle with melanoma. Cathy and I were just 2 months apart in age. We did not grow up near each other (she in Chicago and me in NY), but we always had so much fun when together for family events. She left behind a husband, 3 children, 2 parents, 3 siblings, and many other family members. Her death hit me really hard, which coupled with the stress of moving back to the US, made for a really rough few months for me. I am still so MAD and sad that cancer took her so young.
In August, Craig's great aunt Louise passed away. Her death was not quite so difficult to accept since she died about a week short of her 103rd birthday. Both of Craig's grandmother's died before he was born and Louise never had children so she was like the grandmother of the family. She was a really lovely woman who always asked about my parents whenever we saw her, even though she only met them once or twice.
Then, there was January 14,2011... My own cancer diagnosis. March 4, 2011... My bilateral mastectomy. Two days I will never forget.
On May 1, 2011 we lost Craig's "Uncle" George. Technically, he was Craig's first cousin once
removed since George was Craig's Mom's cousin. George and Craig's Mom were both only children. George never married and never had children. We were his only family. He was never in the greatest of health, but his death did come as a shock. He had just turned 73 on April 14.
And to close out this crappy year, my friend Anna was diagnosed with breast cancer in late
May.
Here's to a "new" year filled with more happy events than sad ones!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The unveiling
On Sunday, I was able to take off my bandages and take a shower. It was the first time I got to see my new boobs. After the expanders, I was expecting them to look and feel different. I will admit I was a bit disappointed, which I have heard is a common reaction. They felt really firm at first, almost as firm as the expanders, which I had referred to as the coconuts. Now, almost a week later, they have softened up a lot and feel more like breasts should feel. That has made me very happy. I am still getting used to what they look like. They are still bruised and the magic marker "no pressure" writing is still there so that is not helping. There are veins protruding where there did not used to be and the shape is not exactly what I expected. It is hard to explain but they are wider and a bit flatter than I expected. I know it will take a while for everything to "settle" and there is the potential for future "touch up" surgeries. I am going to try and not think about that now. I am going to enjoy the summer and be thankful I was able to do this surgery so much earlier than we thought I would.
I am feeling pretty good today, better then yesterday. I am definitely not as tired as I was earlier in the week and have just a little bit of soreness in my tummy area but I am not even taking Tylenol anymore. I am going to drive for the first time today the get the kids from school since my Dad headed home last night. HUGE thanks to both our dads for being here over the last week!!!
I am feeling pretty good today, better then yesterday. I am definitely not as tired as I was earlier in the week and have just a little bit of soreness in my tummy area but I am not even taking Tylenol anymore. I am going to drive for the first time today the get the kids from school since my Dad headed home last night. HUGE thanks to both our dads for being here over the last week!!!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Insurance companies are so funny
I got a letter from my insurance company today that they are unable to "substantiate the medical necessity" of surgery I had last Friday. Hopefully the doctor's office will get this all worked out with Cigna. I am sure they will, but it gave me a good laugh today.
I am feeling okay. My stomach is still sore and I am exhausted despite sleeping pretty well at night. It has been nice having the kids at school today so I can rest without having to keep them from killing each other!
I am feeling okay. My stomach is still sore and I am exhausted despite sleeping pretty well at night. It has been nice having the kids at school today so I can rest without having to keep them from killing each other!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Swap-out surgery
We set off for the hospital at about 8:15am because I had to be there at 9am. Traffic was kind of a nightmare so I was getting nervous about being late. Luckily, we arrived right at 9am. Of course I should not have been worried since things generally run late at MMH. They finally took me into pre-op around 9:30 9:45. I was in pre-op for almost 2 hours. Getting my IV put in was not pleasant. He tried the left side first but it did not work so he had to switch to the right. I have a nice looking bruise on the left since he fished around a bit trying to get the needle in.
Craig was able to come in and keep me company for about an hour, which was nice. Finally around 11:30 the OR team started arriving - the OR nurse, the anesthesiologist (Dr. M) and my plastic surgeon (Dr. G). Dr. M and I had a little chat about anti-nausea meds in with the anesthesia due to my terrible experience in March. He thinks my nausea was due more to the pain medication since I did not get sick until the morning after the surgery. He promised to load me up with anti-nausea meds during the surgery and so far so good. Dr. G was very happy I had Dr. M as he is Dr. G's favorite anesthesiologist. In fact Dr. M is who Dr. G would choose to be his anesthesiologist. That made me quite happy.
Dr. G, Craig and I talked about the surgery and how I wanted to look and be size-wise. He had pictures of my pre-mastectomy breasts, which were kind of weird to see. I had not realized how droopy I was after breast-feeding 2 kids. Once I am all healed and the scars fade I will look different and better. The one benefit of this whole mess!!
At 11:45, i headed for the OR, about 45 minutes late. Better than last time when I was 2.5 hours late! They got me on the operating table and next thing I knew it was 2:45 and I was in recovery! I was sore but the pain was not unbearable. I guess I had already had a very coherent conversation with Dr. Gin recovery but I have no memory of it!!! I had the shakes for little while which was annoying but they bundled me up with warm blankets and they finally went a way.
At about 3:30 they moved me over to second stage recovery and got me sitting up in a chair. I got to have some juice and Graham crackers which hit the spot since I had not eaten all day! Towards the end of my time in the first recovery room, I started feeling like my hands were both asleep. I told the nurse in second stage recovery and she was a bit concerned about it. She initially thought my bandages were too tight but that did not seem to be the issue. She called Dr. G who was in the OR with my breast surgeon doing a mastectomy and reconstruction on a woman similar in age to me. Dr. G was not at all worried. For the surgery my hands were stretched our straight to my sides. He even had me sitting up for a while. I think he brought in a few different implants to try for size and volume. He expected that the feeling could last for a few days and not to worry. (the feeling is gone as of Saturday morning.)
After a little while they brought Craig and his Dad in. It was nice to see them. Ray left a 4:45 to get the kids at school. Craig and set off a little after 5pm. We were home just before 6pm.
I hung out in the recliner for the evening, being waited on hand and foot. I did have to keep reminding Craig about the whole "in sickness and in health" clause in our wedding vows. :). The pain is not too bad. Since my breasts are numb, they don't hurt at all. As part of the procedure took some fat from my belly to inject above my breast to create a better transition from my upper chest to the breast. (I told him to take as much fat as he wanted even if he threw some away! I can't tell if he did since everything is swollen.). My belly button area and where he injected the fat are quite sore. I need to be careful not to apply pressure to the injection are. Dr. G literally wrote "no pressure" across this area in black magic marker! I chuckle when I sneak a peak under my tube top bandage and saw the words.
All in all, the surgery went great! I am sore and tired but not nauseous. I also don't have ant drains this time so I hope to be back on my feet by the middle part of next week. Dr g called last night at about 8:00 and was very impressed by how good I sounded. I think was expecting worse given how I was after the mastectomy, which was 3 months ago today!
Craig was able to come in and keep me company for about an hour, which was nice. Finally around 11:30 the OR team started arriving - the OR nurse, the anesthesiologist (Dr. M) and my plastic surgeon (Dr. G). Dr. M and I had a little chat about anti-nausea meds in with the anesthesia due to my terrible experience in March. He thinks my nausea was due more to the pain medication since I did not get sick until the morning after the surgery. He promised to load me up with anti-nausea meds during the surgery and so far so good. Dr. G was very happy I had Dr. M as he is Dr. G's favorite anesthesiologist. In fact Dr. M is who Dr. G would choose to be his anesthesiologist. That made me quite happy.
Dr. G, Craig and I talked about the surgery and how I wanted to look and be size-wise. He had pictures of my pre-mastectomy breasts, which were kind of weird to see. I had not realized how droopy I was after breast-feeding 2 kids. Once I am all healed and the scars fade I will look different and better. The one benefit of this whole mess!!
At 11:45, i headed for the OR, about 45 minutes late. Better than last time when I was 2.5 hours late! They got me on the operating table and next thing I knew it was 2:45 and I was in recovery! I was sore but the pain was not unbearable. I guess I had already had a very coherent conversation with Dr. Gin recovery but I have no memory of it!!! I had the shakes for little while which was annoying but they bundled me up with warm blankets and they finally went a way.
At about 3:30 they moved me over to second stage recovery and got me sitting up in a chair. I got to have some juice and Graham crackers which hit the spot since I had not eaten all day! Towards the end of my time in the first recovery room, I started feeling like my hands were both asleep. I told the nurse in second stage recovery and she was a bit concerned about it. She initially thought my bandages were too tight but that did not seem to be the issue. She called Dr. G who was in the OR with my breast surgeon doing a mastectomy and reconstruction on a woman similar in age to me. Dr. G was not at all worried. For the surgery my hands were stretched our straight to my sides. He even had me sitting up for a while. I think he brought in a few different implants to try for size and volume. He expected that the feeling could last for a few days and not to worry. (the feeling is gone as of Saturday morning.)
After a little while they brought Craig and his Dad in. It was nice to see them. Ray left a 4:45 to get the kids at school. Craig and set off a little after 5pm. We were home just before 6pm.
I hung out in the recliner for the evening, being waited on hand and foot. I did have to keep reminding Craig about the whole "in sickness and in health" clause in our wedding vows. :). The pain is not too bad. Since my breasts are numb, they don't hurt at all. As part of the procedure took some fat from my belly to inject above my breast to create a better transition from my upper chest to the breast. (I told him to take as much fat as he wanted even if he threw some away! I can't tell if he did since everything is swollen.). My belly button area and where he injected the fat are quite sore. I need to be careful not to apply pressure to the injection are. Dr. G literally wrote "no pressure" across this area in black magic marker! I chuckle when I sneak a peak under my tube top bandage and saw the words.
All in all, the surgery went great! I am sore and tired but not nauseous. I also don't have ant drains this time so I hope to be back on my feet by the middle part of next week. Dr g called last night at about 8:00 and was very impressed by how good I sounded. I think was expecting worse given how I was after the mastectomy, which was 3 months ago today!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Swap-out surgery done and dusted!
I am home and feeling pretty good, considering I had surgery today. I'll post more in a day or 2. I am SOOOO happy it is over!
June 3
Four years ago today on June 3, 2007, Raymond, Craig, Sam and I (and a lot of suitcases) set of on a huge adventure - three years of living in Finland. We were very excited and a bit scared. The next three years WERE an amazing adventure full of funny stories of living in another country, travel all over Europe and most importantly, making new friends (who I still miss every single day!).
Today, I am a lot scared and a bit excited about the next step in my reconstruction. I am worried about how I will handle the anesthesia this time and how we'll handle my recovery and lifting restrictions with much less help than after my mastectomy. I am excited to get rid of the expanders and really feel like we are moving on with life. My scars can heal and start to fade. Unfortunately, I continue to live with a more profound fear of cancer - recurrence of the breast cancer and new cancers that are related to breast cancer. I try not to let this cloud my days but it will always be with me.
(For those of you who have been praying for my friend, Anna, I have excellent news to report. Her lymph nodes came back clean. Her surgeon was almost sure there would be cancer and had told Anna so the day before her surgery. Thanks for all the prayers - they are working!!)
Another June 3 milestone - 17 years ago today I started at Coopers & Lybrand, now known as PricewaterhouseCoopers or PwC. 17 years.... I realized this weekend that I turn 40 next year. EEK!!!!
Today, I am a lot scared and a bit excited about the next step in my reconstruction. I am worried about how I will handle the anesthesia this time and how we'll handle my recovery and lifting restrictions with much less help than after my mastectomy. I am excited to get rid of the expanders and really feel like we are moving on with life. My scars can heal and start to fade. Unfortunately, I continue to live with a more profound fear of cancer - recurrence of the breast cancer and new cancers that are related to breast cancer. I try not to let this cloud my days but it will always be with me.
(For those of you who have been praying for my friend, Anna, I have excellent news to report. Her lymph nodes came back clean. Her surgeon was almost sure there would be cancer and had told Anna so the day before her surgery. Thanks for all the prayers - they are working!!)
Another June 3 milestone - 17 years ago today I started at Coopers & Lybrand, now known as PricewaterhouseCoopers or PwC. 17 years.... I realized this weekend that I turn 40 next year. EEK!!!!
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