I really hoped this blog would never be needed again but here we are, three years and 9 months after my original diagnosis with a recurrence. So how did we get here?
In July, I had an appointment with my new plastic surgeon in Massachusetts, Dr. Driscoll. My oncologist, Dr. Block had recommended him. It was just an annual look at my reconstruction. He complimented Dr. Glatt's work (NJ plastic surgeon). He chatted with Emily about Frozen. I really liked him. Then he found a small lump. He asked if any other doctors had commented on it. I said not and that I had not noticed it the last time I checked myself. He figured it was scar tissue but recommended an MRI to be safe and to just get a look at the implants.
Breast MRIs must be done on days 7-14 of a woman's cycle so I decided to wait until September, once the kids were back in school to do it. On Monday, Sept 8 I had it done. I was nervous about the procedure itself - the claustrophobia - but knew I had gotten through one 2 years ago so I could deal. It was fine just loud and uncomfortable keeping my arms up over my head for 45 minutes while lying face down. My tech was very nice and comforting and I got it done.
On Friday of that week (Craig's 40th birthday), I called Dr. Driscoll office to check in on the results. He called back early afternoon and told me that he and Dr Cahill (who I later found out was a radiologist) had looked at the films and they were inconclusive so they wanted me to come in for an ultrasound and potentially a biopsy. He did say they thought the lump was benign. Craig was on a plane back from San Fran so I headed across the street to my friend, Jen's house for company and to talk. We talked for a while and then her daughter returned from preschool so I checked Facebook (since I am addicted to it...). At that point I learned that a woman that had lived on my hall freshman year at Holy Cross, Darby Stott had lost her battle with breast cancer that morning. Darby's initial diagnosis was about a year after mine and it came back last May in her liver. I was very happy to not be alone at that point Cancer sucks.
On Monday, the plastic surgeon's office called to schedule the ultrasound. Luckily they had an opening on Tuesday morning so I of course took the appointment.
We decided that Craig would put the kids on the bus and neighbor Jen would come with me. After my last ultrasound in January 2011 where I was alone at the appointment, I did not want to be alone but I did not think this would be anything. Dr Cahill did the ultrasound and told me the lump was definitely not a cyst. It was a solid mass. There also was a very small thing that could be seen on the MRI that she tried to find with the ultrasound but could not. She thought the lumps could be a fat necrosis (which is benign and often happens after surgery or injury) but she was definitely being vague. She decided to go ahead with taking the sample for biopsy. We had to wait a little while for her to free up but it ended up being a pretty short wait. The biopsy itself was a bit uncomfortable which surprised me a bit since I have no feeling in either breast but I guess there are still some working nerve endings. Getting the sample was a bit tricky because the spot it so small and is right up against the implant. I went home to wait for the call the next day.
Dr. Cahill had told me she'd call between 3 and 5 so I kept myself busy. Went to a PiYo (Pilates/Yoga) class, puttered around the house and then headed out to run errands. I planned to be home well before 3pm. At about 1:30pm, while I am standing in the dairy aisle at Whole Foods my phone rings with a weird local cell phone. I answer it and it is Dr. Cahill. She said something like, "we need to talk. The results are abnormal. You sound like you are out somewhere. Go somewhere quiet and call me back in a few min." I ditch the shopping cart and sprint out to my car to call her back. She tells me it's cancer and my mind races. She said something about "local recurrence". (The lump is in the breast that had the rumors.) my mind continues to race. She has already spoken with my plastic surgeon and he has offered his support. She talks about the implant probably having to come out but them reminds me next steps are a discussion with my oncologist and breast surgeon. She agrees to call them to find out who I should see first (oncologist). I hang up with her and call Craig. I cry. He curses. I call my parents. They are shocked. I go back into Whole Foods to finish my shopping and then drive home. I stay off the internet which is SHOCKING. I tell a few close friends. I imagine unimaginable things and wait for Craig to get home.
I made so many changes in my lifestyle after the original diagnosis - consistent exercise, vegan diet, more organic foods, etc. I know I did everything the science pointed to last time but it still freaking came back. We are mad and sad. Time to kick cancer to the curb again!
