MRI Done and Dusted!

My breast MRI was today and it was about a million times easier than I was expecting!  It was quite loud and the relaxing CD I brought did not do much since I could not hear it over the banging but luckily I was able to relax on my own.    I also took a Xanax but I am not sure I really needed that either.   It went by really fast - each banging session was between 1 and 10 minutes.  I had to stay still for each session but it helped break it up into manageable chunks.   I don't think I was in the MRI machine for more than 30 minutes.   I hope everything I still need to face is easier than I think it will be.    We should have the results in the next 2 days.   I am hoping there aren't any more spots in the right side than the 3 we know about and none in the left.

(FYI - This entry's title "Done and Dusted" was a phrase I picked up from my cousin, Cathy.   She used it a bunch whenever she finished up a big test or procedure in her melanoma battle.   I draw on her strength on a daily basis.)

On an unrelated note, while I was in for the MRI, my father's father-in-law passed away after his own battle with cancer.   He had been going downhill for a while so his passing is a bit of a blessing but still a huge loss for my father's wife and her family.    Please keep John in your prayers!

Finally, my brother-in-law's father is not doing well and was rushed to the hospital early this morning after a seizure at home.  Please pray for Bucky as well!

Plastic surgeon and BRCA results

Today we met with a plastic surgeon to talk about the post-mastectomy reconstruction.   This doctor was recommended by my breast surgeon and a friend from work happened to use him for her reconstruction last year,  I really liked him.    We were not supposed to meet with him for 2 weeks but luckily he had a cancellation for this morning.   We talked about the procedure and he showed us lots of pictures of various patients.   I thought that was going to freak me out or upset me but it was not that bad.  He seems to do good work.   He is around my age which it weird to me - doctors are supposed to be old or at least older!    The recovery is not going to be much fun.   He told me it is painful but there will be lots of drugs.  :) I won't be able to drive for 2-3 weeks or lift anything for 4-6 weeks.    I am more worried about the lifting than anything else because of Emily.   We'll get through but it is going to be a big adjustment for her.  Thinking and talking about that at the appointment was what got me upset.      Based on his schedule and my breast surgeon's, it looks like the surgery will be late the week of February 28.   Hopefully enough time to (1) get things in order at home before and (2) be done with treatment and surgeries for our Disney trip in late August.    We might get more insight into treatment stuff when we meet with the oncologist next week.

On the good news front, my BRCA mutation test came back negative!    I am surprised it came back so quickly as it usually takes at least 10 days.   I was kind of surprised when the breast surgeon called tonight.   At first I was worried that someone has misread the scan results or something.    I was not even thinking about the BRCA test!

Tomorrow is the MRI and I am okay about it now but I am definitely dreading it.  I "test drove" some Xanax last night and it definitely relaxed me.   I felt like I had had a few glasses of wine.   Hopefully it will have the same calming effect tomorrow.  I am sure this is not the last breast MRI I will have, so I better be able to tolerate it!

What I fight for...

The last few days have been really positive, but I know there will be dark days in the next few weeks and months.    Just so I remember why I am going through hell, I fight for...

My kids

My husband (picture taken in the spot where we got engaged 9.5 years ago)

I fight for the people that have survived this beast - my Mom, sister-in-law, and too many friend and other family members.   I fight for the rest of my family and friends, hoping this disease leaves them alone.

And I fight for all my other friends and family members who did not win their wars against cancer, especially:

My beloved mother-in-law Jane who was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme (brain cancer) 3 months after this picture was taken and died on November 22, 2006

My beautiful and feisty cousin Cathy who died after a 6 month battle with melanoma on June 11, 2010.  She was 37 years old and left behind a husband and 3 young children.

Scans ALL CLEAR!

Another day and more good news!   My bone scan came back totally clear.   The CT scan showed "normal" 3mm something on my lung (common to anyone who has ever been exposed to dust - I guess I don't keep a clean enough house) and something else related to my colon, but again nothing to worry about.   Everyone has minor little differences in their insides.     Basically, there is NO EVIDENCE OF METASTATIC DISEASE!!!

Next steps are:

• Breast MRI on Tuesday
• Second opinion consult at Sloan-Kettering on Thurdsday
• Follow up appointment with my surgeon sometime the week of 2/8 to start making plans
• Initial appointment with an oncologist on 2/10.   (My surgeon is pretty sure there will be chemo in my future.)
• Initial appointment with a plastic surgeon, currently scheduled for 2/14 but my breast surgeon wants me to see someone sooner so we can get a surgery scheduled the week of 2/28 or 3/7 (she is on vacation the week of 2/21)

Things seems to be moving really slowly sometimes and crazy fast at others.   

I am SO thankful for another positive day!

Scans done and good news!

Today I had a CT scan of by chest, abdomen and pelvis and a whole body bone scan to check and make sure there are no other cancerous looking spots in my body.   My surgeon does not expect to find anything but they like to do these up front as a baseline.   I was pretty nervous about the whole day as my 2 c-sections are the only times I have ever had to go to and stay in a hospital.   No broken bones, major illnesses, etc. as a kid.   I have been very lucky, I guess.    I am not a fan of enclosed spaces, which made me even more nervous for today although after Googling what the machines looked like, I was a little less apprehensive.

I dropped the kids off as usual at daycare and met Craig at the house to head to the appointments.    First, I had to get injected with some radioactive stuff in preparation for the bone scan.     The technician was awesome and I did not even realize she had injected me.  I did not feel a thing.  (I am not so great with needles but I am thinking I will be after this whole ordeal is over.)     Then we had to walk across the street for my CT scan.

In preparation for the CT scan, I had to drink this not at all yummy "berry smoothie" barium drink - half a bottle last night, 1/2 bottle 1 hour before, 1/2 bottle 1/2 hour before and 1/2 bottle in the room.   It had the color and consistency of thick milk.   It was not at all good and I ended up having to drink the second bottle all at once because they were ready for me early.   Glad that is over.   The technician gave me the "Mochachino" flavor for the next time as I guess everyone says it is much better.  I don't have a next time scheduled, but I'll likely need another CT scan at some point.    I spent some time chatting with a nice nurse, Tracy, which made the second bottle go down more quickly than the first did.  I guess I was distracted.   She put in an IV and I went into the CT scan room.   I laid down, they injected me with some contrast (which made me feel warm and like I was peeing in my pants - a common side effect that did not last long) and started the CT scan.  It seemed to take 2 minutes and was not at all claustrophobic.

We had about 2 hours to kill before the bone scan so we headed to Au Bon Pain.   I was not allowed to eat before the CT scan but could before the bone scan.   While killing time, I called my surgeon's office to see if the further pathology results had come back.  I spoke with her office manager, who informed me they were back and she would leave a note for the doctor to call me.   I instantly felt nauseous again because I knew we would be getting the results sometime today and I just wanted to know...   

About 10 minutes later, my cell phone rang and it was the surgeon.   Her first words were "I have good news."    The tumors are Estrogen Receptor (ER) and Progesterone Receptor (PR) + and HER2 -.      Cancers that are ER/PR+ respond are slightly slower growing and have a better chance of responding to hormone-suppression treatment, that can help prevent recurrence.   This is result we were hoping for and I instantly felt happier than I have in 3 weeks.  

After killing some more time, I went in for the bone scan which again was not a big deal.   The full body scan took 20 minutes and then there were three 5 minute scans - pelvis, chest and skull.   The machine got pretty close to my face but I could see the room peripherally and it moved pretty quickly to the rest of the my body.    I should have results from both scans in 1-2 days.    Pray that they come back clean!

Overall, a good day.   I am looking forward to a relaxing glass (or bottle) of wine tonight while watching it snow!!!! 

Cancer is a full time job!

I went to work today, mainly because I did not want to be home alone all day without any in-person adult interaction and distractions.    It has been nice to be out of the house, but I don't find myself getting much work done between calls to and from the hospital and various doctor's offices.   I guess the day has been productive from a personal perspective:

• Got my official schedule of events for this Wednesday's CT scan and bone scan.   I need to drink some stuff and get an injection and travel back and forth between the hospital and a building across the street.  I am now clear on where I need to be and when. 
• Set up a meeting with the Child Life Specialist at Morristown Memorial Hospital for next week to seek out some advice on how we talk to Raymond about what is going on.
• Scheduled an appointment for a second opinion with a surgeon at the Memoral Sloan-Kettering location in Basking Ridge, NJ, which will be next Thursday.
• Ordered copies of films, slides and reports from Morristown for the second opinion consult.
• Asked my friend Julie, a breast cancer survivor who went through surgery and started treatment about 18 months ago a bunch of the questions I wrote down for her over the weekend.
• Have not cried once (although I was close when telling a work friend about my diagnosis)

Overall, I am feeling okay emotionally and physically.  I started peeling off the bandages from the biospy over the weekend and the sites are still sore but I can comfortably sleep on my stomach again, which is nice.  My emotions are a minute by minute thing.  I am glad to be at work so I cannot focus on the bad thoughts.  I even can go a few minutes or an hour forgetting about the cancer.

Wow!

Over the last few days, we have been telling people near and far about my diagnosis.  Many people have had to find out about it via email because I just don't have it in me to tell everyone in person or on the phone.   I have really been overwhelmed by the response - the emails, Facebook messages and chats have done so much to lift my spirits.   Keep the prayers and happy thoughts coming as we face a big week - more pathology results and the CT scan and whole body bone scan which might show if there are any spots to worry about elsewhere in my body.    

Mom heads back to Florida tomorrow and I am sure she is looking forward to a few weeks of peace and quiet before she comes back for the surgery.   Raymond and Emily were particularly boisterous and loud today!    I am so lucky she was able to be with us for the last week.

I have also been amazed by the number of women out there who have battled or are currently battling breast cancer - many of them young women like me.  It is really a sisterhood - one I never wanted to join but I am now amazed and inspired by its members.