On Sunday, I was able to take off my bandages and take a shower. It was the first time I got to see my new boobs. After the expanders, I was expecting them to look and feel different. I will admit I was a bit disappointed, which I have heard is a common reaction. They felt really firm at first, almost as firm as the expanders, which I had referred to as the coconuts. Now, almost a week later, they have softened up a lot and feel more like breasts should feel. That has made me very happy. I am still getting used to what they look like. They are still bruised and the magic marker "no pressure" writing is still there so that is not helping. There are veins protruding where there did not used to be and the shape is not exactly what I expected. It is hard to explain but they are wider and a bit flatter than I expected. I know it will take a while for everything to "settle" and there is the potential for future "touch up" surgeries. I am going to try and not think about that now. I am going to enjoy the summer and be thankful I was able to do this surgery so much earlier than we thought I would.
I am feeling pretty good today, better then yesterday. I am definitely not as tired as I was earlier in the week and have just a little bit of soreness in my tummy area but I am not even taking Tylenol anymore. I am going to drive for the first time today the get the kids from school since my Dad headed home last night. HUGE thanks to both our dads for being here over the last week!!!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Insurance companies are so funny
I got a letter from my insurance company today that they are unable to "substantiate the medical necessity" of surgery I had last Friday. Hopefully the doctor's office will get this all worked out with Cigna. I am sure they will, but it gave me a good laugh today.
I am feeling okay. My stomach is still sore and I am exhausted despite sleeping pretty well at night. It has been nice having the kids at school today so I can rest without having to keep them from killing each other!
I am feeling okay. My stomach is still sore and I am exhausted despite sleeping pretty well at night. It has been nice having the kids at school today so I can rest without having to keep them from killing each other!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Swap-out surgery
We set off for the hospital at about 8:15am because I had to be there at 9am. Traffic was kind of a nightmare so I was getting nervous about being late. Luckily, we arrived right at 9am. Of course I should not have been worried since things generally run late at MMH. They finally took me into pre-op around 9:30 9:45. I was in pre-op for almost 2 hours. Getting my IV put in was not pleasant. He tried the left side first but it did not work so he had to switch to the right. I have a nice looking bruise on the left since he fished around a bit trying to get the needle in.
Craig was able to come in and keep me company for about an hour, which was nice. Finally around 11:30 the OR team started arriving - the OR nurse, the anesthesiologist (Dr. M) and my plastic surgeon (Dr. G). Dr. M and I had a little chat about anti-nausea meds in with the anesthesia due to my terrible experience in March. He thinks my nausea was due more to the pain medication since I did not get sick until the morning after the surgery. He promised to load me up with anti-nausea meds during the surgery and so far so good. Dr. G was very happy I had Dr. M as he is Dr. G's favorite anesthesiologist. In fact Dr. M is who Dr. G would choose to be his anesthesiologist. That made me quite happy.
Dr. G, Craig and I talked about the surgery and how I wanted to look and be size-wise. He had pictures of my pre-mastectomy breasts, which were kind of weird to see. I had not realized how droopy I was after breast-feeding 2 kids. Once I am all healed and the scars fade I will look different and better. The one benefit of this whole mess!!
At 11:45, i headed for the OR, about 45 minutes late. Better than last time when I was 2.5 hours late! They got me on the operating table and next thing I knew it was 2:45 and I was in recovery! I was sore but the pain was not unbearable. I guess I had already had a very coherent conversation with Dr. Gin recovery but I have no memory of it!!! I had the shakes for little while which was annoying but they bundled me up with warm blankets and they finally went a way.
At about 3:30 they moved me over to second stage recovery and got me sitting up in a chair. I got to have some juice and Graham crackers which hit the spot since I had not eaten all day! Towards the end of my time in the first recovery room, I started feeling like my hands were both asleep. I told the nurse in second stage recovery and she was a bit concerned about it. She initially thought my bandages were too tight but that did not seem to be the issue. She called Dr. G who was in the OR with my breast surgeon doing a mastectomy and reconstruction on a woman similar in age to me. Dr. G was not at all worried. For the surgery my hands were stretched our straight to my sides. He even had me sitting up for a while. I think he brought in a few different implants to try for size and volume. He expected that the feeling could last for a few days and not to worry. (the feeling is gone as of Saturday morning.)
After a little while they brought Craig and his Dad in. It was nice to see them. Ray left a 4:45 to get the kids at school. Craig and set off a little after 5pm. We were home just before 6pm.
I hung out in the recliner for the evening, being waited on hand and foot. I did have to keep reminding Craig about the whole "in sickness and in health" clause in our wedding vows. :). The pain is not too bad. Since my breasts are numb, they don't hurt at all. As part of the procedure took some fat from my belly to inject above my breast to create a better transition from my upper chest to the breast. (I told him to take as much fat as he wanted even if he threw some away! I can't tell if he did since everything is swollen.). My belly button area and where he injected the fat are quite sore. I need to be careful not to apply pressure to the injection are. Dr. G literally wrote "no pressure" across this area in black magic marker! I chuckle when I sneak a peak under my tube top bandage and saw the words.
All in all, the surgery went great! I am sore and tired but not nauseous. I also don't have ant drains this time so I hope to be back on my feet by the middle part of next week. Dr g called last night at about 8:00 and was very impressed by how good I sounded. I think was expecting worse given how I was after the mastectomy, which was 3 months ago today!
Craig was able to come in and keep me company for about an hour, which was nice. Finally around 11:30 the OR team started arriving - the OR nurse, the anesthesiologist (Dr. M) and my plastic surgeon (Dr. G). Dr. M and I had a little chat about anti-nausea meds in with the anesthesia due to my terrible experience in March. He thinks my nausea was due more to the pain medication since I did not get sick until the morning after the surgery. He promised to load me up with anti-nausea meds during the surgery and so far so good. Dr. G was very happy I had Dr. M as he is Dr. G's favorite anesthesiologist. In fact Dr. M is who Dr. G would choose to be his anesthesiologist. That made me quite happy.
Dr. G, Craig and I talked about the surgery and how I wanted to look and be size-wise. He had pictures of my pre-mastectomy breasts, which were kind of weird to see. I had not realized how droopy I was after breast-feeding 2 kids. Once I am all healed and the scars fade I will look different and better. The one benefit of this whole mess!!
At 11:45, i headed for the OR, about 45 minutes late. Better than last time when I was 2.5 hours late! They got me on the operating table and next thing I knew it was 2:45 and I was in recovery! I was sore but the pain was not unbearable. I guess I had already had a very coherent conversation with Dr. Gin recovery but I have no memory of it!!! I had the shakes for little while which was annoying but they bundled me up with warm blankets and they finally went a way.
At about 3:30 they moved me over to second stage recovery and got me sitting up in a chair. I got to have some juice and Graham crackers which hit the spot since I had not eaten all day! Towards the end of my time in the first recovery room, I started feeling like my hands were both asleep. I told the nurse in second stage recovery and she was a bit concerned about it. She initially thought my bandages were too tight but that did not seem to be the issue. She called Dr. G who was in the OR with my breast surgeon doing a mastectomy and reconstruction on a woman similar in age to me. Dr. G was not at all worried. For the surgery my hands were stretched our straight to my sides. He even had me sitting up for a while. I think he brought in a few different implants to try for size and volume. He expected that the feeling could last for a few days and not to worry. (the feeling is gone as of Saturday morning.)
After a little while they brought Craig and his Dad in. It was nice to see them. Ray left a 4:45 to get the kids at school. Craig and set off a little after 5pm. We were home just before 6pm.
I hung out in the recliner for the evening, being waited on hand and foot. I did have to keep reminding Craig about the whole "in sickness and in health" clause in our wedding vows. :). The pain is not too bad. Since my breasts are numb, they don't hurt at all. As part of the procedure took some fat from my belly to inject above my breast to create a better transition from my upper chest to the breast. (I told him to take as much fat as he wanted even if he threw some away! I can't tell if he did since everything is swollen.). My belly button area and where he injected the fat are quite sore. I need to be careful not to apply pressure to the injection are. Dr. G literally wrote "no pressure" across this area in black magic marker! I chuckle when I sneak a peak under my tube top bandage and saw the words.
All in all, the surgery went great! I am sore and tired but not nauseous. I also don't have ant drains this time so I hope to be back on my feet by the middle part of next week. Dr g called last night at about 8:00 and was very impressed by how good I sounded. I think was expecting worse given how I was after the mastectomy, which was 3 months ago today!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Swap-out surgery done and dusted!
I am home and feeling pretty good, considering I had surgery today. I'll post more in a day or 2. I am SOOOO happy it is over!
June 3
Four years ago today on June 3, 2007, Raymond, Craig, Sam and I (and a lot of suitcases) set of on a huge adventure - three years of living in Finland. We were very excited and a bit scared. The next three years WERE an amazing adventure full of funny stories of living in another country, travel all over Europe and most importantly, making new friends (who I still miss every single day!).
Today, I am a lot scared and a bit excited about the next step in my reconstruction. I am worried about how I will handle the anesthesia this time and how we'll handle my recovery and lifting restrictions with much less help than after my mastectomy. I am excited to get rid of the expanders and really feel like we are moving on with life. My scars can heal and start to fade. Unfortunately, I continue to live with a more profound fear of cancer - recurrence of the breast cancer and new cancers that are related to breast cancer. I try not to let this cloud my days but it will always be with me.
(For those of you who have been praying for my friend, Anna, I have excellent news to report. Her lymph nodes came back clean. Her surgeon was almost sure there would be cancer and had told Anna so the day before her surgery. Thanks for all the prayers - they are working!!)
Another June 3 milestone - 17 years ago today I started at Coopers & Lybrand, now known as PricewaterhouseCoopers or PwC. 17 years.... I realized this weekend that I turn 40 next year. EEK!!!!
Today, I am a lot scared and a bit excited about the next step in my reconstruction. I am worried about how I will handle the anesthesia this time and how we'll handle my recovery and lifting restrictions with much less help than after my mastectomy. I am excited to get rid of the expanders and really feel like we are moving on with life. My scars can heal and start to fade. Unfortunately, I continue to live with a more profound fear of cancer - recurrence of the breast cancer and new cancers that are related to breast cancer. I try not to let this cloud my days but it will always be with me.
(For those of you who have been praying for my friend, Anna, I have excellent news to report. Her lymph nodes came back clean. Her surgeon was almost sure there would be cancer and had told Anna so the day before her surgery. Thanks for all the prayers - they are working!!)
Another June 3 milestone - 17 years ago today I started at Coopers & Lybrand, now known as PricewaterhouseCoopers or PwC. 17 years.... I realized this weekend that I turn 40 next year. EEK!!!!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Next step in my reconstruction
On Friday, I will have surgery to swap out my expanders for my implants, or my "more real fake boobs" as I have been referring to them. Craig and I refer to my expander-filled breasts as "the coconuts" because the shape resembles that of a coconut bra. They are really unnatural looking and are uncomfortable when the kids bump into them (or I bump them into something). I am dreading the whole surgery aspect of this, mostly the anesthesia and recovery but I am excited to see what my body/breasts will look like going forward. I am also excited to stop wearing sports bras. I have not been allowed to wear bras with underwire since my mastectomy. Since my size and shape now is not what it will be once I have the implants, I have not wanted to invest in any nice non-underwire bras. A lot of my work clothes are not conducive to sports bras! I have to wear sports bras for the first 3 weeks after this surgery but then I can go back to regular ones.
The surgery itself is scheduled for 11:00am. I have to be at the hospital at 9:00am. The surgery will take about 2 hours and then I will be in recovery for 2-3 hours. Craig's Dad is coming down to help and will likely be my ride to and from the hospital so Craig can get Raymond to a number of activities that are happening the same day (Field Day at school, T-ball Fan Appreciation night, swimming lesson).
This may or may not be the last step in my reconstruction. Once the implants are in and settled, I might need some adjustments to get everything even. Breast reconstruction is as much an art as it is a science. There is only so much the surgeon can do in one procedure. Also, there is the matter of recreating a nipple on my right breast. I am undecided about whether I will have that done. If I do, it will not be until the Fall at the earliest. I plan to enjoy the rest of my summer!
My friend Anna goes in for her mastectomy in a matter of hours. Please say a prayer that they get clean margins and the lymph nodes are clear!
The surgery itself is scheduled for 11:00am. I have to be at the hospital at 9:00am. The surgery will take about 2 hours and then I will be in recovery for 2-3 hours. Craig's Dad is coming down to help and will likely be my ride to and from the hospital so Craig can get Raymond to a number of activities that are happening the same day (Field Day at school, T-ball Fan Appreciation night, swimming lesson).
This may or may not be the last step in my reconstruction. Once the implants are in and settled, I might need some adjustments to get everything even. Breast reconstruction is as much an art as it is a science. There is only so much the surgeon can do in one procedure. Also, there is the matter of recreating a nipple on my right breast. I am undecided about whether I will have that done. If I do, it will not be until the Fall at the earliest. I plan to enjoy the rest of my summer!
My friend Anna goes in for her mastectomy in a matter of hours. Please say a prayer that they get clean margins and the lymph nodes are clear!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Again???
I am not sure if anyone is reading this anymore. I have been ignoring the blog since I returned to work a month ago. Life has gotten back to its usual craziness, which has been great! I have a prayer/happy thought/positive vibe request for anyone out there.
My friend Anna, an American living in Finland and a loyal blog follower and commenter during my recent battle was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 days ago. Since getting the news yesterday, I have been so MAD. How can this be happening to another 30-something mother??? Anna and I are the same age. She also has 2 children - 2 girls, aged 3 and 8 months. Her 3 year old and Emily were in the same baby group in Finland. Anna has a friend in Finland who was diagnosed the same day as me - January 14, 2011. Her friend is also our age. I really want to know what the hell is going on? Here are 3 women in their late 30s, who grew up in different parts of the world (Finland, NY and California) all getting breast cancer. The one thing we have in common is a 3 year old child.
Anyway, please say a prayer for Anna. She is having a single mastectomy next Tuesday. After that, they will decide on additional treatment. To all my friends in Finland, please give Anna a HUGE hug from me the next time you see her. I wish I could be closer and help her. I now understand how you all felt this winter when you could not be here for me on a daily basis. But I know how much the support from afar helped and I will do what I can from here for Anna.
My friend Anna, an American living in Finland and a loyal blog follower and commenter during my recent battle was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 days ago. Since getting the news yesterday, I have been so MAD. How can this be happening to another 30-something mother??? Anna and I are the same age. She also has 2 children - 2 girls, aged 3 and 8 months. Her 3 year old and Emily were in the same baby group in Finland. Anna has a friend in Finland who was diagnosed the same day as me - January 14, 2011. Her friend is also our age. I really want to know what the hell is going on? Here are 3 women in their late 30s, who grew up in different parts of the world (Finland, NY and California) all getting breast cancer. The one thing we have in common is a 3 year old child.
Anyway, please say a prayer for Anna. She is having a single mastectomy next Tuesday. After that, they will decide on additional treatment. To all my friends in Finland, please give Anna a HUGE hug from me the next time you see her. I wish I could be closer and help her. I now understand how you all felt this winter when you could not be here for me on a daily basis. But I know how much the support from afar helped and I will do what I can from here for Anna.
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